also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
