Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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