I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
