You work out of a Hotel?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
