Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
