Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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