There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
