Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
