this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
