Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
