He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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