everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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