well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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