yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
