winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize