you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
