just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
