accomplished twins. life is a go
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
