no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
