So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that's an acceptable place to lick
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
