And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize