a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
