I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
