Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
where am i from again
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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