so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
