Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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