It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize