We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
