yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
