We named our party play list daddy issues
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We need to get me chipped asap
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
