so explain again why im purple
no
he puts the penis in happiness.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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