Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
