Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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