I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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