So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
