He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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