Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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