grandma shit on top of the toilet
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
