just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
