C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
