They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
