She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
