So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
