We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
