Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
