From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
