Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's always time for handjobs
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
