so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize