If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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