go do what you do best...puke behind churches
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
