I cockslap morals
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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