Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
