We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize