i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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