living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
