and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize