Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
