Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
