She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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