'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
