No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
