The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
