I bet he comes in French.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
