She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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