you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize