So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
