I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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