How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
