oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
