Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
